How to be a mental health ally

Seeing someone you care about struggle with their mental health can leave you wondering what to do or say. Feeling uncertain in those moments is completely normal. Simply showing up with care and support can make a real difference. 

Showing compassion, listening without judgment, and encouraging treatment can make a powerful difference in someone’s recovery. Small, consistent actions — like checking in, sharing a meal, or taking them to appointments — can help your loved ones feel less alone.

Support looks different for everyone. What comforts a partner might not help a co-worker, and what motivates a child may not work for an adult family member. Learning to recognize these differences can help you build stronger, more understanding relationships.
 

How to support someone with a mental health condition

When someone you care about is living with depression or another mental health condition, it can be hard to know where to start. Small gestures can make a big difference.

Understand what a mental health condition is

Learning about a mental health condition from trusted, evidence-based resources can help you better understand what your loved one is experiencing.

Depression, for example, is not simply a “bad mood” or temporary feelings of sadness. It’s a serious medical condition that affects both the person and those who care about them. It isn’t anyone’s fault. Try not to blame your loved one or yourself for what’s happening.

Start the conversation

You don’t need to have the perfect words ready at all times. Giving a person space to express how they’re feeling is a great way to start:

  • “I may not understand exactly what you’re feeling, but I’m here to listen.”
  • “I’m worried about you. Have you thought about talking with a mental health professional?”

Provide hope

Remind them that recovery is possible:

  • “Getting help is a major step forward. I’m proud of you.”
  • “You’re not alone. Depression is treatable, and most people feel better with time and treatment.”

Give support

Offer to help schedule appointments, write down questions, or accompany them to visits. Support them in following their treatment plan.

  • “What can I do to help?”
  • “Would you like me to go with you to your appointment?”
  • “Call or text me anytime you need to talk.”

Shared activities such as going for a walk, cooking together, or watching a movie can bring comfort and connection.

Act quickly in a crisis

If your loved one is talking about suicide or seems in danger, stay with them and call 911 or 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline).
 


Supporting your partner

When your partner is feeling depressed or anxious, your love and patience are powerful tools for healing. Even when your partner withdraws, your steady presence and understanding can help them feel safe and supported. Support your partner by:

  • Showing love and reassurance, especially during difficult moments. 
  • Respecting when your partner needs space, but letting them know you’re nearby and not going anywhere.
  • Asking what they need instead of guessing, because even small acts of care can strengthen your connection.

Depression and other mental health conditions can make people feel disconnected, so simple gestures like a kind word, a hug, or a meal together can mean a lot.
 


Supporting your child

Watching your child struggle with a mental health condition can feel heartbreaking. The best way to help is by staying involved, maintaining routines, and showing your child they are loved and understood.

  • Encourage your child to follow a routine: Balanced meals, regular sleep, and physical activity all help support their mood.
  • Provide emotional validation: When you notice your child’s complicated feelings, gently name them and validate what you see. This exercise helps them recognize and manage emotions over time.
  • Take steps to stay informed and connected: Stay up to date on effective treatments and talk with other parents facing similar experiences.
  • Involve your partner or family members in care decisions: Be open to different perspectives, but remember your responsibility to protect your child and maintain stability.
  • Work with teachers, counselors, and healthcare providers: Ensure your child’s needs are supported at school and in treatment.
  • Take care of yourself: Seek your own counseling or support if you’re struggling.

Additional resources for parents and caregivers:

Supporting your adult child

As children grow up, your role in supporting them shifts. Adult children may value independence yet still need emotional connection and encouragement. Even after age 18, your support continues to matter. Privacy laws, such as HIPAA, may limit what healthcare providers can share with you, but your emotional support still means everything.


Supporting a co-worker

Colleagues can play a crucial role in supporting one another’s mental well-being. A supportive work environment benefits everyone and helps reduce the stigma surrounding mental health.

Here’s what you can do at work:

  • Foster a caring workplace: A mentally healthy workplace is open, flexible, and supportive of everyone’s needs.
  • Start a conversation: If you’re concerned about a colleague, talk with them privately and listen with empathy. You don’t need to fix everything — just being there matters.
  • Respect their confidentiality: Assure your colleague that you’ll keep what they share private.
  • Offer practical help: Small gestures, such as checking in, sharing lunch, or helping with the workload, can help ease stress.
  • Connect them to resources: Encourage the use of workplace mental health programs, such as Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs).

Supporting an employee

If you’re a manager or supervisor, you have a unique opportunity to foster a mentally healthy workplace. To help your team feel supported and valued, consider the following approaches:

  • Address job stressors, such as poor communication or excessive workloads.
  • Collaborate with an employee to develop an individualized support plan.
  • Offer flexibility, such as adjusted hours or workspace changes when needed.
  • Promote openness about mental health and reduce stigma.
  • Respect privacy at all times.
  • Share workplace or community resources for additional help.
     

Supporting yourself as a caregiver

Caring for someone with a mental health condition can take an emotional toll. Here are some ways to care for yourself while supporting a loved one with depression:

  • Be honest: Clearly express your feelings and boundaries to your loved one to prevent resentment from building.
  • Keep doing what you enjoy: Pursue hobbies and goals that bring you fulfillment.
  • Reach out for help: Connect with caregiver support groups or talk to a counselor. Sharing your situation with others who understand can be deeply validating.
  • Set limits: You can’t do everything. Make time to rest and recharge so you can continue to offer meaningful support.
  • Use healthy coping strategies: Relaxation techniques, journaling, and mindfulness can help you de-stress.
     

Resources & tools

Building a Support System (PDF)

Building a Support System (PDF)

Learn how to build a strong, dependable network to help both you and your loved ones stay connected and supported.

Managing Stress (PDF)

Managing Stress (PDF)

Explore tools and relaxation strategies for reducing stress as a caregiver.

Discussing Your Illness With Others (PDF)

Discussing Your Illness With Others (PDF)

Get guidance on when and how to talk about mental health with family, friends, or colleagues.

Need help right now?

Call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to talk with trained counselors, available 24/7. Support is available whenever you need it. 

Get help now